Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
