do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
