You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
