chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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