am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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