I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
