look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She needs sedatives and a leash
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
