Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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