Kiss
Puke
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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