the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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