We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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