Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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