yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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