After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
