stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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