All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
