All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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