i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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