I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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