did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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