I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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