yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
