I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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