Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
this is an emotional support booty call
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
