Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
