the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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