Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize