JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
