Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
