It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
