he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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