Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
