I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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