i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
