Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize