it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
ok first of all what the fuck
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
