i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize