I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
