I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
