Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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