I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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