That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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