apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
