I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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