I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
