just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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