Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
