Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
