only if we run a train.
done.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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