hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
