who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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