Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
