I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
