how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
