This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize