I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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