I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
