I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
