She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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