You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
