I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
