I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
