Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
